I have decided that I want to write and star in my own show called Lonnie?’s life in a pool. Everything would take place in the pool and I would do normal everyday jobs that I can’t do when I’m not in a pool, like UPS driver or furniture delivery man. Now in return for this treat, please help support my kickstarter project and share it, I only have 11 more days to complete my goal.
I did one last episode just before I took my first trip off the North American island we all call America. Preparing for any trip is a stressful time for anyone. Until you are actually on the road or heading to an airport, you most likely will be in a piss-poor mood. Since it is me, I can assure you, I’ll be twice as bad. In the first episode of two a part series, I’ll talk about the pains of getting ready to go on my first big journey half way around the world.
After a long journey (like being in the Amazing Race) I have made it to my destination. We started in Portland and flew to Seattle, Seattle to Tokyo, Tokyo to Bangkok and finally Bali. There will be many updates to follow, but how about we first address the Loading Lonnie post I was tagged in by Rachel.
In Bankok they do not have a Jetway for most flights so instead you take a bus out to the tarmac and load into the plane via the staircase. This is an old fashion way of doing things for sure, unless you are me of course.
My Thainees assistant (I know that isn’t a word but it is now) loaded me into a wheelchair and rolled me out to a truck. The money they spent on this contraption must have been $280, 000 or in their currency $ 280, 000,000,000,00,00 or Infinity $$$. Whichever comes sooner. My personal opinion is that is is a huge waste of their money. Anyway, I get loaded into this truck. Now you must understand, I was the only one they needed to load. I get put into what looks like from the inside, a Chinook helicopter. From their a crew drove me out to the aircraft and the truck hydraulically lifted the entire carriage to the door of the aircraft like one of those high lift catering trucks. I get delivered to the door only after the crew knocked first and waited patiently for Flight attendant to open up the aircraft. I then safely stepped aboard my flight and took my seat. I could go into even more detail but sometimes pictures are worth a thousand words and you may be asking yourself, why in the hell would I ever travel half way around the world just go through all of this? Like I said, my life is a wonderfully scripted comedy. So why did I do it? I did it for the stories, like one of those war corespondents traveling to Syria. They risk their life for the story. Why should I live any differently.
In last week’s episode I discussed how socially retarded most people can be. I took it upon myself to really break down the worst examples of society. Let’s face it though; it wouldn’t be fair if I didn’t put the same kind of scrutiny on my own life. So in today’s podcast, I’ll do just that. I go back to the beginning, before I was a comedian, before I was confidant with my own identity and tell you stories of my own youthful awkwardness.
In this episode:
Little Lonnie Appleseed
Orange peels, Kenny Rogers and a full grown temper tantrum.
On March 27th at the Star Theater in Portland, Oregon, I will be recording my new DVD “Truth Hurts” but that isn’t what this episode is about. It’s also not about my new Kickstarter project I’d like you all to go and take a look at. Sure, yes I am recording a new DVD and the project over at Kickerstarter is helping me fund it, but this episode has nothing to do with that at all.
I devoted this cast to the observation of the awkward situations we sometimes don’t realize we put ourselves in. It is about the study of our social failings.