ep18: I have no right to complain.

From The Nook Podcast

This last 3 months have been tough for me personally.  I wish I could pretend it hasn’t been.  It’s not that I haven’t had my great moments; it’s just that Rachel and I have been pushed to our emotional limits.  In ep18 as I exploring this concept and rant about my personal challenges, I realized something… I have no right to complain about anything.  Really, I have my own podcast and I’m throwing a pity party?  There are people who are sleeping under awnings in downtown Portland and I’m mad because I didn’t get a break today.  Wow!  If the only thing I have to worry about is the fact I might not make enough votes to make the top ten of the world’s stupidest online contest, my life is grand and I should simply shut my pissy little baby mouth.  There is a defining moment in this episode when I realize this and I couldn’t be happier it happened.  It opened my eyes and humbled me.

In this episode I discuss:

  • I’m more ashamed I entered this online contest than anything I’ve ever done.
  • A chicken Fried Steak Workout
  • They call it “The Cancer Tower”
  • Craig’s list baby crib debacle

Go to this websiste to vote for me:  You have to search blacksheepcomedy via the command/ctrl function and sign up but afterwards voting is easy can be done once a day.

http://www.gotcast.com/casting-calls/page-tko/Fresh-Faces-Comedy-Contest/70170?utm_source=internal_emails&utm_medium=sendgrid&utm_term=internal_email&utm_content=email&utm_campaign=internal_emails

Share with everyone you love and hate

Lonald

Crippled are the minds of those

From The Nook Podcast

I’m back from wine country and it was a much needed break.  Some were wondering, hey am I pregnant, and the answer to that is no.  I wish I could say that because of last week’s sappy emotional state I was in. I wish I had a great excuse like pregnancy but I don’t have the parts. Maybe ladies you shouldn’t use this either. How about chalking it up to having no self-restraint about your feeling and I will do the same.  Own your feelings and your actions and move through life unashamed.  I’m tired of people telling us how we are supposed to feel, and act.  I’m tired of people telling us what is acceptable because their own comfort level is being jeopardized.  Now you are telling us that us crippled people can’t use the term because it offends you? Boohoo, walk it off…because you can. Meanwhile, I’ll own the word… because I can.

In this episode I discuss:

  • I dated a midget in the fourth grade
  • It’s so difficult to rub you off
  • Fraudulent credit cards and pizza
  • Crippled are the minds of those

Read the stories here:
Story #1

Story #2

Lonald

 

ep16: Apologize for no one

From The Nook Podcast

The one thing I’ve learned over the years of being a comedian is that there is no way to make 100% of your audience happy.  You see, inevitably there will be someone in your audience that will get riled up about something.  That person does not get comedy and never will.  These people are not Republican based radical conservatives nor are they left wing liberal tree huggers.   There is no stereotypical breed that fits this kind of door nail empty-headed mentality.  They simply are a comedian’s worst nightmare, and do not get comedy. These people can’t take a joke and their life is too serious to see the irony of it all.  They hate to smile; all forms of happiness of any kind and their simple mission in life is to suck the joy from the world.  I would think people like this would die young from some sort of cancer brought on by their thriving hate, but usually they live way beyond our need for them to exist.  Some comedians feel the need to officially apologize if they offend them.  I do not.   I apologize for no one, if you don’t get the joke than you aren’t going to accept anything I say to correct it. Good, you hate me now, and I hate you.  Move on and die already and I’ll continue to entertain the ones who really get it.   

In this episode I discuss:

  • My first time skyping and you’re going to mock me with a digital sperm beard?
  • Things that go bump in the night
  • Rod Stewart urban folklore
  •  Jason Alexander official apology makes no difference, what a surprise.  His apology letter is here:

ep:15 The Nook Evolution

From The Nook Podcast

When I started this personal podcast project I had no idea that it was going to end up being therapy for me.  Never once did I think sitting in front of a mic in a breakfast nook in my house was going to allow me so much freedom.  The kind of freedom to flesh out my thoughts in way that would not only improve my style of comedy I perform but also leave me so naked, sharing things on an even more intimate level than stage.  It did though, so I figured why should I be the only comedian to have that opportunity.  I should give other comedians I respect the opportunity to “Nook” out a rant or two.  What better way to get to know us and how we really think.  Instead of an interview, why not just hand the mic over and let them have the confessional that is this podcast. I did just that.  So with great love, respect and admiration, I welcome my first guest speaker to The Nook:  Out of Philadelphia, PA, Comedian Chris Smith.Comedian Chris Smith

In this episode:

  • Crapping my pants on New Year’s Eve.
  • The Educational system from someone who actually knows the Educational system
  • North Korea is beautiful this time of year, but Chad is pregnant.
  • I’m coming back to the world as a thong on the ass of a supermodel…That is my religion!
  • Dr. Seuss makes reading challenging for any adult

Don’t forget to share this with your friends and enemies, review it Itunes and get the word out!

Lonald

Diablo’s Downtown Debauchery

How would I describe my feature act Kristine Levine?  Well let’s start by clearing up something.  She is no feature act at all.  She is a headlining act who puts on a one woman show every time she steps on a stage.   Some have said she is the new Roseanne Barr.  I can’t agree with that only because even Roseanne still keeps a secret or two, Levine keeps none at all.  For me it is easy to describe her, she simply shines.  Kristine is a bright shining star and one who beams with raw talent.  She loves, she hates, and she gives you every morsel of her being while on stage. This year she also has made quite the stink on the scene.  Levine has been seen in two seasons of Portlandia and will be taking her full one woman show to this year’s 2012 Edinburgh Festival Fringe in Edinburgh, Scotland. I couldn’t be happier to have her on my bill this weekend at Diablos Downtown Lounge this Friday night.  We have not had the pleasure of working together on the road in more than 5 years. By no means should you take my word for it,check her out yourself: www.kristinelevine.com

Also on the bill is Andy Andrist.  This show is going to be more than just a great night of comedy.  It is a reunion of a few of The Unbookables and that means anything goes, and anything can happen.  It means you better be ready to deal with the honesty of the lives we have lived because telling the truth is what we do best, we are storytellers and our stories are more from the Brother Grimm style.

Join us Friday night June 8th in Eugene, OR at Diablo’s Downtown Lounge. Doors open at 8:00 PM, tickets are $8.00 in advance if you call (541) 343-2346 and ask to be placed on the list for advance ticket price. Otherwise it is $10 at the door.

See you Friday night Eugene, and leave your ultra-liberal attitudes at home with the babysitter there is no room for judgment at this event.

Lonald